So this week brought about one new beginning.
The beginning of break! I'm pretty excited about it. Our finals are finally done and we're pretty confident about them. I managed to not have a meltdown and didn't even have to pull an all-nighter (thank goodness) and Kyle only had to pull one! He finished his senior seminar paper and we're mighty proud of it. It's 112 pages long! Possibly the longest paper written by anyone I know. He worked so hard on it and it's such a good paper. I love love love my smartypants hubsand!
Also, there was an ending.
It was the end of my computer's life. It happened on Wednesday night while I was typing out some 500 word essays for my Brit Lit final (which was Friday). My computer wasn't responding and I had the color wheel of death, so I force-quitted everything and when I tried to restart my computer, all I could get was a blinking file with a question mark (sounds ominous, huh?) and a terrible grinding noise from inside my laptop.
It's sort of like I knew it happened before I really knew for sure. Kyle was out returning some things to the library. You might think it's ridiculous, but I sat there and cried silently while watching the blinking file until he came home. Maybe I was just emotionally touchy because it was a stressful finals week and super-late at night, but I felt as if I'd lost a friend who'd been with me since the summer before I began school. I'd written every single paper and completed every single project on that computer. I'd taken it to almost every single class every single day of my college career. My backpack was heavy because of the computer. I'd done my genealogy using that computer, and I began my relationship with Kyle through that computer. I researched the church during my investigation on that computer. I knew it had to happen someday, obviously, but I supposed that I would be super mad because I would have lost so many files. Now that my semester is over and I'm never going to write another paper or do another project again (because I'll be student teaching and then graduating), I didn't react that way.
I'm thankful that it didn't happen any earlier, though. I still lost a lot of things. Sure, there were powerpoints and chapter reviews that I no longer need, but I lost some of my pictures that I didn't post on facebook. I lost the music that I'd collected over the last 3 and 1/2 years. It's not like these things will tear me up, but it's still a little sad. I'm going to chat with one more person, I think, about whether or not anything can be retrieved from the computer, but I doubt it.
So now we're going to get a desktop computer. I don't want another laptop. I couldn't ever get one that I'd like as much. Laptops are for staying up late and working on papers. Laptops are for facebooking and surfing the net while your prof is lecturing. Laptops are for watching movies on because you don't have a TV. Laptops are for college students. And even though I'm graduating, I just don't feel like a college student anymore. I'm not going to be doing those things anymore. So no more laptops.
Maybe this isn't about the laptop afterall. Maybe this is about me being a little surprised that I no longer have classes or papers or projects or lectures or...well you get the idea. It's just a little surreal.
I'm at peace with it, though. RIP Mac laptop and old college life. It's been fun while it lasted!
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